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Whether lolita is a fashion or a subculture is a matter of some discussion among followers. Many women wear the style only on weekends and for concerts, possibly as a form of escape from their more prosaic everyday lives and of course, simply because it's 'cute'. Other women say that lolita is a lifestyle, and even when not wearing the clothes, they try to incorporate the lolita ethos into their everyday lives. Momoko, a character from the novel Shimotsuma Monogatari ('A Shimotsuma Story', translated into English and published as Kamikaze Girls) by lolita novelist Novala Takemoto, expresses the wish that she could live in the carefree, whimsical and hedonistic Rococo era. No matter whether a lolita wears the style simply as a fashion or sees it as a lifestyle, the culture of lolita is an escape to a fantasy world free of pressures of modern-day society and adulthood. While Japanese women of today have wider societal roles than those of their mothers, they are still expected to enter employment only until marriage and childbirth, and while employed they are generally placed in lower roles than men. It is still common for a young woman to be employed as a greeter or elevator girl at a department store, or as the “office lady” asked to make tea and photocopy documents at a corporation. Additionally, Japanese culture emphasises the importance of motherhood as a “sacred mission” and discourages women from pursuing a career as it distracts her from her main task of motherhood and running the family home. Thus girls and women who wear lolita are rejecting the societal expectation of low-importance careers and homemaking in favour of a fantasy in which they can “fulfill their own sense of princess-like aesthetic beauty” and avoid growing up in a more mundane world.

This rejection of societal norms by lolitas reflects the rise in Japanese society of young people, especially women, known as 'parasite singles'. Millions of young Japanese are choosing to stay living with their parents into their twenties and even thirties, working for a living but spending their income on material items and refusing to get married or have children. Lolita fashion is expensive; items from brand stores range from one hundred to five hundred dollars, and a full outfit may cost as much as a thousand dollars. The fashion began in the eighties, reflecting the affluence of Japanese society created by the 'Bubble Economy'. Due to the youthful nature of lolita fashion, many girls are supported by their parents in their buying habits, but for others in their twenties, the only way to continue buying such items is to remain living in the family home and use discretionary income to buy clothes, rather than establish one's own independent life. It is possible, but difficult, to become a lolita without spending exorbitant sums of money; some women learn to sew their own clothes or choose to buy from lesser-known 'indie' or independent brands. However, most Japanese girls will agree that in order to be accepted and respected by other lolitas, it is necessary to buy some brand clothing. This aspect of the lolita phenomenon reflects the obsession with brands found elsewhere in Japanese society. Other parasite singles may buy expensive brand-name handbags or jewellery. As Professor Masahiro Yamada, who coined the phrase, states, on average women lose two-thirds of their spending money when they marry. The rise of parasite singles does not surprise the sociology professor, who also attributes their prevalence to Japan's affluence during the 1980s. Despite the downturn in Japan's economy during the 90s, it appears that both lolitas and other Japanese youth have discovered one way to maintain their high discretionary spending and affluent lifestyle.

Lolita fashion appears at first glance not only to be a rejection of societal expectations in favour of a luxurious, responsibility-free life, but of the homogeneity of most Japanese culture and society. Until the mid-60s, most women shared a common beauty ideology, and even today the kawaii aesthetic permeates most mainstream fashion. In contrast, lolita offers distinction and individualism from the normal fashion style. However, upon closer examination, lolita has a distinctly paradoxical nature towards individuality of style. While it is true that it offers individuality from the mainstream, it still maintains strict rules about coordination and combinations of style. Additionally, brand clothing is generally offered in only one or two sizes, often very small and designed for the flat-chested, short and thin Japanese girl. In this way, lolita maintains homogeneity of style and appearance even while it simultaneously offers an opportunity to break away from mainstream fashion. While lolitas may be alone in smaller rural areas, as is depicted in Shimotsuma Monogatari, Tokyo lolitas gather in groups in Harajuku, many wearing matching outfits. This conformation and group ethos reflects the larger Japanese group culture and allows people to feel a part of a group or subculture even when they do not fit into the norm.

Comparing lolita with the Western Goth movement, it is easy to draw parallels. Both lolita and Goth are marked by striking fashion, a rejection of societal values and expectations, and “a longing to escape to another world.” However, whereas lolita incorporates the 'cuteness' found in more mainstream fashion, Goth fashion intends to both reject and parody mainstream fashion and good taste, aiming for a dichotomy between beauty and repulsion. Additionally, while lolita generally emphasises childlike innocence and purity, which tends to be expressed in 'sweetness' and optimism, Goth veers more towards morbidity, sexual fetishism and pessimism. Even gothic lolita, which shares with Western Goth a fascination with religious imagery and Victorian nostalgia, still shares the ethos of lolita that is a yearning for a carefree, whimsical world akin to Rococo. In contrast, Goths emphasise their separation from mainstream culture by yearning for tragedy and the “darkly powerful”, finding beauty in the darker side of life. These differences mean that if one were to compare a lolita with a Goth, both would strenuously disagree.

Lolita as a fashion and a subculture is easy to categorise as a static rebellion of Japanese girls against expected societal roles and appearance. However, to file it away as such a phenomenon is to ignore that, twenty years after the establishment of the style, it not only still exists but is spreading both in Japan and to the Western world, in no small part through the power of the Internet. Online forums now exist for Western lolitas to discuss the fashion, share photos and even sell or trade items; one of the most popular has nearly 7000 members from all over the world. Due to this worldwide interest, brands such as Baby, The Stars Shine Bright are establishing overseas stores; Baby has opened a store in Paris and is due to open another in San Francisco. Furthermore, Western lolita brands which cater to the different size and shape of Western women are developing, although none have yet reached the same level as Japanese brand stores. While some adherents of the fashion believe that the growing popularity will create bastardisations of the style that so many love, others point out that as lolita reaches the mainstream, the clothing will not only be more available but more affordable. While lolita may have begun as a fashion for Japanese girls who wished to step away from sexual fashion, reject societal expectations and revel in a world of luxury and individualism within a group of like-minded friends, it will continue to evolve into a fashion and a lifestyle loved worldwide as women simply enjoy “being a princess” in a modern-day society.